The TMI meme with Rana, my rather lovely suicidal femme fatale.
1. What is your true age?
44, and I hope to God I don't look it.
2.Do you have any health problems?
Oh, this and that. If, that is, you count having a non-existent face and an inability to eat anything 'health problems'.
3.What is one thing you fear?
The dark, myself, death, life - bit of an enigma, that one - Chinese blokes, other people. I think what I'm not afraid of is probably a shorter list.
4.What is your full name?
Rana Silva. Technically my middle name is still Marianne because I never changed it, but I don't ever include it when I introduce myself.
5.What is your real gender?
6.Are you hiding something?
1. How would you describe your life right now?
3. What is one thing you can't sleep without?
I struggle to sleep as is, so probably melatonin
4. Are you creepy?
I don't think so...
5. Do you collect anything weird?
6. Are you emo?
7. Do you ever cut yourself and why?
Not deliberately per say, but it happens accidentally more than I think it probably should.
8. Ever think of suicide?
Oh, all the time.
9. Do you ever cuss and swear?
Of course I fucking do. My dramatic monologues - which you will see more than a few of during Waltzing with Lucifer - would be so boring without.
1, Do you have any fetishes?
I enjoy it when my partner is submissive to me. I've been described as somewhat of a dominatrix; however, I simply prefer it. I was dominated many times before against my will, and I don't intend for it to happen again.
2. Have you ever had sex before?
Yes. However, I did only engage in lesbian sex up until the age of twenty-nine when I...when my virginity was...stolen.
3. Who do you want to eat out?
Dita Von Tesse.
4. Do you masterbate?
Yes, and that's 'masturbate.'
5. How often do you participate in intercourse?
Not at all that frequently; of late, sex has mainly been utilised by myself as a device to gain the trust of males I wish to destroy.
6. Ever had oral?
7. Ever kissed anyone?
I just answered yes to having ordinary, oral and gay sex. Kissing is pretty much a prerequisite to all that.
8. What things turn you on?
Submissiveness, intelligence, nice bodies and lack of shits given about my own appearance.
9. What things turn you off?
10. Ever fantasize about your crush?
Friends and Family
1. Do you honestly love you friends/family?
What friends? And family?
Me: It's not yet technically canon that Rana is an orphan; it's just convenient right now as she has more important backstory to think about.
2. Do you have a crush on any of your friends?
3. Do you have a crush on any of your best friends?
A resounding no, seeing as I don't technically have one. Well, Tamara is pretty, but I know she doesn't play for that team and I consider her as being too much like a sister for it not to feel like incest. Chalice and I have kissed and seen each other in the nude; however, likewise the above. It'd feel wrong if I did anything truly dirty with her. Plus I know that she's had an excessively off-putting and 100% non-consensual lesbian experience in her past, and I'm afraid that it would upset her to do anything of that sort again.
4. Are you always there for your family when they need you?
They're dead, ergo don't need me.
5. Have you ever been betrayed by a best friend?
Oh, yes. The largest betrayal of my life was committed by the woman I'd befriended and trusted with my life.
Evelyn: Do we really need to start this again?
6. Do you have any family who have no contact with you?
1. Are you straight?
2. Are you bisexual?
Was. Past tense.
3. Are you homosexual?
4. Are you pansexual?
5. Are you asexual?
Maybe a bit. Depends on my mood. I consider myself to be an asexual with libido.
6. Are you transgendered?
7. Are you queer?
Your Future Life
1. Will you get married one day?
2. Where do you want to live?
I'm perfectly content where I am. The island is quiet, and no-one bothers me.
3. Who do you wanna spend forever with?
4. Do you want kids some day?
Can't. I think in China, either I was beaten so hard I ruptured my womb, or the stress caused me to suffer an extremely early menopause; all I know is I don't menstruate and I can't breed.
5. How would you describe your 'dream mate'?
I don't have one.
6. Where do you wanna have a honeymoon at?
Nowhere, unless I can marry myself. Then in bed with liquor.
Your Dreams and You
1. Do you ever write down any of your dreams?
I realy, really would not want to; I take medication which STOPS me from dreaming; who would I want to record the unfortunate few that I have?
2. Do you ever have vivid nightmares?
Only every night of my life.
3. Do you ever dream of yourself as someone else?
Never. I tend only to dream about slightly irrationalised versions of events past, and I also suffer from perpetually lucid dreams.
4. How many dreams have you had about your crush/someone you love deeply?
None. Pre-China, any nightmares I had were about losing Lorna, my then-girlfriend.
5. Do you ever dream of past events?
All the fucking time. See above.
6. Are your family/friends ever in your dreams?
7. Where do most of your dreams take place (as in setting of the dream)?
An underground, virtually airless cell in Dandong, China.
8. What is one thing you have had the most dreams about? (besides a crush)
Oh, figure it out.
9. Who is mostly in your dreams every night?
10. Do you ever wake up crying from a dream?
Almost always. I'm also usually profusely sick after I wake up. Loathe as I am to admit it, I also wet the bed roughly one night in 12 - why did I just say that?
1. What are you doing at this moment?
Sitting here doing this.
2. Talking to anyone?
Nothing. I can't, aside from liquid nutrition, but that goes direct to my stomach via a g-tube, so I don't really count it as eating.
4. Doing something naughty?
My own words at the moment.
I'm typing. Impossible.
7. What are you wearing?
Red and black lingerie, a black tailored skirt-suit and an amber and burgundy shirt.
My server room.
10. Where are you?
In an empty hotel - where I also happen to live -on a ghost island just south of Macau.